Tuesday, February 14, 2012

January 26 - How to Change A Lamp


Watch that you don’t get the tippy Genie,
            Or if you do that you’re prepared for it,
And position it under the right Circut
            (Watch the cyc!  Don’t tip your head back too far!)

Check the bucket:
            Hot Hands, replacement lamp.
Check the feet:
            Is the bubble level right? No? Damn.
Re check everything.
Listen to the sophomore remind you not to have a party with a giraffe in the Genie

Ascend.

Fell the heat on your face as you rise
            (Heat doesn’t rise, scrub, hot things rise)
Stop, go up a little more, stop again,
            “Hey can you get the E-Stop?”
Get into place.

Find the little gold pin.
            Unplug the instrument!
            (You don’t want to electrocute yourself)
Find the little gold pin.
            Lefty loosey, righty tighty
Free the housing.

Don’t look too long at the bruised and swollen glass
            The art department will want it for something, God knows what.
Safety pins in and up. Free the lamp.
            Maybe.  Sometimes they get really jammed in there.
            Damn, that one got fucked up.

Now careful!  Open a new lamp
It’s cold. You’ve taken off your Hot Hands to improve your dexterity. The dimmer room was cold.
Don’t touch it. The lamp that is.
            It’ll blow when it heats up if you do
            And send glass falling down on some unsuspecting actor
            (Well not really, but it’ll be a pain to get out of the instrument)
Good, you’ve done that well.
            Pins in and down, housing back in the instrument, plug back into the dimmer

Does it work?
Did it blow?

Return to Earth.

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