Saturday, July 7, 2012

March 6 - Listed

Featuring live links to Craigslist!

“I was 49… and 58.”
“How do you still remember this shit?”
            The four sat sprawled over beds and couches in Lena’s guest room.  Lena stared quietly up at the ceiling on one of the beds while her friends discussed middles school sports.  A Sam Adams Boston Lager dangled from her right hand over the edge.  Amy was once again displaying her memory for novel detail as she sat cross-legged on the floor against a couch. 
            “I don’t know,” replied Amy. “I just do.”
            “It’s a pity you don’t remember names and dates from history.  It would serve you better,” drawled Katie as she rolled over onto her stomach.
            “Yeah well, they aren’t interesting.”
            Katie shot her a look that told the room she thought Amy was a freak and took a sip of her beer. 
            “We aren’t really doing anything, are we?”
            All heads turned to Lena.
            “Are we?” she asked.
            “We were talking I guess…” replied Meg
            “But that’s for you guys.  I wasn’t here in middle school.  I don’t know who you’re talking about.”
            “So let’s do something,” said Amy.
            “What?” asked Lena.  “What is there to do?”
            “We could go on Craigslist Casual Encounters,” replied Katie.
            “What?” asked Lena, sitting up.
            “You guys don’t do that?” asked Katie. “Just for a joke, I mean.  Not to respond to anything.  There isn’t a single person on there who isn’t disease ridden or a serial killer.”
            “Can we do that?” asked Meg.
            “Why wouldn’t we be able to?” asked Katie.
            “Because we’re not eighteen,” replied Meg as she took a sip of her soda.
            “Lena’s furnished us with alcohol from her dad’s cupboard and all you have to do to get on is click a button that says ‘Yes, I’m 18’.  It literally couldn’t be less difficult.”
            “But –“
            “Really Meg?” asked Lena. “Since when does anything we do bother you?”
            Meg shrugged and sighed, curling a bit of her hair behind her ear.
            “Great.  Amy, get your laptop.  We’re going on Craigslist.”
            Amy slid up from her position on the floor and left the room.  Lena looked over and saw Meg’s obvious discomfort.  Her green eyes were cast downward, staring at the lip of the Coca Cola bottle.
            “Meg, you good?” asked Lena.
            “Yeah… I. Yeah. I’m fine,” she replied.
            “Lena, where did you find these?” asked Katie, gesturing with her empty bottle.
            “Are you sure you want another?” asked Lena.
            “Who are you?  Meg?” replied Katie.
            Lena sighed and stood.  She left.  She walked heavy in her heels, as though she expected there to be more between her feet and the floor.  Or as though by bringing her foot down so hard she might be able to keep herself from running to wherever she was going. The door closed with a bang behind her.
            Katie fell back onto her bed with a thump. “Fuck.”  Meg looked on quietly staring at Katie with a look of both concern and intense curiosity.   She ran her fingers around the lip of the bottle as she watched Katie melt across the bed.
            “When did it get so hot?” asked Katie.
            “When summer came.”
            “Don’t be a smart ass.  You’re not the kind of person that can say that stuff.” 
            Katie rolled over so that she could look at Meg.
            “Who is the kind of person who can say that kind of stuff?”
            “Not you.”
            Katie rolled over again, apparently done with the conversation.  The door swung open as Amy and Lena entered.
            “We’re back,” Lena said somewhat unenergetically swinging a six-pack.
            Amy again sat down in front of the couch as the others sat down around her so that they could see the screen.  She began typing.
            “Where are we looking?” asked Amy.
            “What do you mean, where?” asked Meg.
            “She means “what city?”  Some are better than others,” answered Katie authoritatively.
            “Oh.” Meg replied quietly.
            “Let’s start with here,” said Amy. “Let’s see who’s desperate in Westchester.”
            “Sweet,” replied Katie.
            “You guys, that seems a little mean,” said Meg.
            “Really Meg?” said Katie.
            Meg sighed.
            With a few clicks Amy was on the Westchester Craigslist.
“Meg, they’re looking for you.”  Katie elbowed her.
            “Shut up.”
            “That’s all you Katie!” said Amy
            “Yeah. I’m really into “wet, sticky, slimy, and smelly” sex. Who thinks this kind of writing is a turn on for anyone?”  She replied, shoving Amy.
            “Now that’s for me,” said Katie.
            “Cynical, yes.  Multilingual, no.  He’s looking for Amy,” replied Lena.
            “Eh.  I’m not into sideways hipster photos.  The photo makes him look cool, but the fact that he doesn’t know how to rotate it tells me he doesn’t really know how to use a computer,” replied Amy.
***you are late*** - 25 - (carmel) pic
            “Oh shit,” said Lena.
            “Well Meg.  Who knew?” said Katie.
            “That is not me,” replied Meg.
            “She sure looks like you…” said Amy.
            “Right, but it’s not,” said Meg.
            “But… shit” said Lena.
            “Shit is right,” said Katie. “I didn’t know Meg hooked up with the kind of guy who posts pictures of himself shirtless and muscle-y on Craigslist.”
            “I don’t!” said Meg.
            “Sure you don’t…” said Katie, as she pointed to the next link.
            “No!” said Meg as she slammed the laptop shut.
            “Watch it!” said Katie.
            “I do not hook up with the kind of guy who would post this on Craigslist.  I don’t even hook up.  There is an aggregate total of zero interest in what’s here.  And, you know what, I’m done with this.  I’m tired of Katie and her cynicism and her sarcasm.  Good bye.”
            She stood.  No one protested.  Meg looked at all three girls, grabbed a Sam Adams Boston Lager, cracked it open on the edge of a table, and left.
            “Where’d she learn to do that?” asked Lena.
            “Who cares?” said Katie.
            Amy looked up as though she were about to answer the question with I do, but closed her mouth before she could say anything.  She ran her hand through her hair, tucked a little behind her ear and asked: “What’s next?”
            “Oh come on, that one sounds boring,” said Katie.
            “Hey, it’s woman for woman.  Those seem rare,” said Amy.
            “Seriously.  Don’t click on that one,” said Katie.
            “As the resident authority, I say click,” said Lena.
            “Who made you authority?” asked Kaie.
            “The fact that this is my house and the fact that you’re drinking my dad’s beer” said Katie.
            Amy had already clicked and was skimming the post.  “She seems boring.”
            “Let’s respond” said Lena.
            “Really guys, this is boring now,” said Katie.

To: gwpqp-3116240006@pers.craigslist.org
Subject: Oral.
Attachments: SAM_0991.jpg

Hey.  I am interested.  I’m in Putnam, white and 5’ 3’’.  Not quite what you’re looking for, but may as well be honest.
Hope to hear from you!

-Amy
            Ping. 
            Katie dived for her phone.
            “Woah.  Why the overreaction?” asked Amy.
            “I’m… just waiting for my mom to text.  She’ll be here soon.  I’d better go wait for her. Outside.”  Katie stood.
            Deftly, Lena came up from behind and grabbed the phone.
            “Stop that!”
            Lena opened the notifications menu and glanced at the email her friend had received: Subject: Oral. 
            “Well Katie.  Who knew?”

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